Parental Discipline

Anybody just ever blow it as a parent? Maybe I'm the only one.

Scripture has so much to say in regards to raising children. Usually we only quote part of those verses. Most of you know that scripture teaches that we aren't to spare the rod or we will spoil the child. Others will use the quote "Obey your parents..." These are all valid verses but if all we ever do is discipline the child without being disciplined ourselves, what will we accomplish?

I have found that there are some days that I should have just stayed in bed! Well...maybe what I really needed to do was have some time with the Lord before I had time with the kids. It's far to easy for us parents to jump to conclusions, rush to judgements, and deal harshly with things rather than think through our parental processes. Fact is: We often need more discipline than the children!

Listen to scripture: "Children, obey your parents because you belong to the Lord, for this is the right thing to do. 'Honor your father and mother.' This is the 1st of the Ten Commandments that ends with a promise. And this is the promise: If you honor your father and mother, 'you will live a long life, full of blessing.' And now a word to you fathers. Don't make your children angry by the way you treat them. Rather, bring them up with the discipline and instruction approved by the Lord." Ephesians 6:1-5 NLT

If I read scripture correctly, it seems that I need as much (if not more) discipline as my children. I have to be disciplined in how I discipline. I have to show self-control. I have to be able to control my tongue, my temperament, my attitude, my anger, etc. James Dobson has said that it takes more work to actually discipline a child properly rather than spanking them AND HE IS RIGHT!

Have you ever had to be honest with your child and say, "I blew it!"? I don't know of anything more humbling than sitting in front of my son or daughter to ask for forgiveness in how I handled a situation. I have had to apologize for being too critical, spanking before speaking, or raising my voice beyond a "reasonable" tone. The reason I'm willing to do this is simple: 1st of all - I'm not always right. I know that some fathers/mothers don't recognize this but I do. 2nd - It teaches my kids that when I don't get it right that I'm willing to acknowledge my failures.

If we as parents aren't willing to acknowledge that our little parenting experiment, with it's hypothesis, doesn't always have the proper conclusion; all we ever teach our children is that the home is ran by a tyrant who can never be questioned. All must bow down to the all powerful parent. I want to teach my kids honor over fear, respect over obedience, and submission over slavery. It comes down to one question: What is my heart in parenting? Am I trying to get my kids to do what I want OR am I trying to bring them up in the fear and admonition of God?

So today I acknowledge my weakness. There is more that I need to learn, more that I need to control, and more that I need to submit to God as I seek to be the father that he wants me to be. For the sake of my children I need to get this right. I'm seeking to raise up the next generation of Christ followers. So they need to experience Him in the home.