Lessons Learned (Part 2)

Let's refresh the quote from yesterday:
"You can't force people to be where you are spiritually, emotionally, or mentally. You can invite them. You can create a safe environment. You can honor them where they are. And you can always love."
Yesterday we looked at the "WHAT" of what I have learned. Today we will go deeper into the "WHY?".

Kris Vallotton has written extensively about the need for this type of shift within the church. In particular, he talks about us moving from a denominational mindset into one of apostleship. Here's how he explains it: "In denominationalism, believers gather around doctrine and divide when they disagree. In apostleships, believers rally around fathers, mothers and families." When the church becomes centered around the relationships that the Father has given to us, we are less likely to divide over differences. This does not mean that a particular church will not have essential doctrines, it simply means that we will possess a core value centered around one another.


Why? Why is it important for us to understand that we cannot force people to be where we are? Why is there a need to create safe environments? Why do we need to honor one another? Why is all of this important?

#1 - The reality is that each of us are a different places in the process. Several factors determine where we are personally. Depending upon your church background, how long you have been a believer, and the focus of your spiritual life, are just some of the things that have to be understood. Rather than force people to be where we are, we are creating an environment of love, honor, and unity. We are learning to center our lives upon Jesus and one another. It is critical that we, the church, keep this from becoming some sort of christianese (a popular saying) but an abiding reality. Loving God and Loving Others needs to be a concrete mindset within our fellowship.

#2 - The safe environments that we create means that people can come into relationship and ask questions. They can honestly seek understanding because they realize that in relationship these things are possible. Too many churches become so centered upon doctrine/theology that relationship takes a back seat to everything else. It means that different opinions about spiritual matters can become something that brings division rather than an opportunity for us to walk in honor and humility. The need to be right trumps the desire of the Spirit for us to be in unity. Far too often, the world has watched this scenario play out time and time again. Many times these "differences" did nothing to go against the essentials of a church. They may have challenged an individual, or a particular group of people, but the reality is that many of these differences could exist side by side.

#3 - The reason why it is important for us to walk out these truths is because it demonstrates to the world that love will be the core value among us. When people know they are loved, it means they can be themselves. They can live in authenticity. Unity, not uniformity, is birthed within our fellowship. It also puts each of us at a place where we have to dig deeper. Seeking to understand the reasoning of another. Recognizing the heart of an individual. Trusting the Lord's ability to shape and conform each of us into His image. It's quite amazing actually. A process that unfortunately has only played out among a small percentage of the church population.

Several years ago we had someone come into our fellowship that really struggled with one of our essential doctrines. My advice to this person was to honor it. To seek understanding. To trust our heart in the matter. This particular belief was contrary to this person's church background. You can imagine the difficulty. On the one hand there was a need within this person to be in relationship. On the other was the need to preserve his own belief system. In the end, this person chose relationship. He knew that this was a safe place to work it all out. Over the course of the next few months, maybe even a year, this person came to understand why we believed what we believed. The Lord did a work in this person's heart to not only understand, but to accept this particular doctrine as truth. We never pressed the issue. We never asked how they were doing in regard to this particular belief. All we did was walk with him. When questions were asked, we answered. We prayed. We trusted the Lord's ability in the process.

This is not a small task. It requires incredible commitment. Some have tried to walk this path, but gave up somewhere along the way. They chose the wider path of destruction. Gave up on relationships. Chose division over understanding. Chose to be right in their own opinions rather than choosing to walk in unity. It is difficult. Especially difficult if what you believe personally is what defines you.

Creating this type of an environment, a true family environment, allows people to develop deep relationships with one another. Walls of insecurity are thrown down. Every high thing that would exalt itself against the knowledge of God is destroyed. Competition is done away with while we learn to be complete in Him. There is such a level of commitment to this type of living that we no longer think of relationship with God and one another as separate goals to be achieved, but a way of life to be embraced. An environment where we recognize us in Him and Him in us.

Here is where we discover 1 Corinthians 13 lived out in the flesh.
"Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things."

Why is this important? It's important because you begin to realize the importance of those around you. "Behold what manner of love the Father has bestowed upon us that we should be called the children of God." These people...they are family.