Lessons Learned (Part 1)

While I could probably fill this blog up with some of the lessons I have learned through the years, there's at least a couple that I want to share with you over the next couple of days. Part 1 in this mini-series is a lesson that I must continually remind myself of as I lead and disciple people. Lesson learned: You can't force people to be where you are spiritually, emotionally, or mentally. You can invite them. You can create a safe environment. You can honor where they are. And you can always love.

The life and ministry of Jesus was one GREAT BIG INVITATION. You continually see Him in the Scriptures inviting people to join Him, walk with Him, and learn from Him. While He didn't mind telling them that they needed to repent in order to do so, even that was an invitation to begin to see life through another perspective. Even when you see Him pressing the rich young ruler for "one more thing", you find that Jesus loved him in the invitation. And I believe that He loved him as He walked away. The question we must ask ourselves is, what are we doing to build relationships?

Inviting Others to Join You

While this may seem like an easy task, the reality is that we have to open ourselves up to people. We must be willing to endure rejection. We must also be able to walk with those who accept. Much has been documented and said regarding the disciples of Jesus. When you read about them in the Gospels, you discover that they didn't have it all together. Not even remotely close. It was in the walking with Jesus that they were able to open their minds to the truth, discover the power that they held within themselves, and figure out in relationship what it meant to walk out this Kingdom of Heaven thing.

Jesus didn't invite people who were at the same level as Him. Nor did He force them to be. He simply invited them into the process of becoming. He demonstrated to them what the love, peace, and message of the Kingdom was all about. He invited them to understand the Father as He did. It's an incredible lesson in discipleship. The invitation, in and of itself, is empowering. And it was granted to all. Even the most unbecoming among them.

Creating a Safe Environment

By safe, I don't mean without risk. The disciples of Jesus risked everything to be with Him. They walked away from businesses, parents, and prestige within the community. In fact, their willingness to walk with Jesus also meant being despised and rejected. When I talk about a safe environment, I talking about the environment we create within relationship.

The disciples could ask questions.
They could fail.
They could be taught, rebuked, and encouraged.
They could even challenge some of the things that Jesus said and did. All the while still loved and led in the direction He was going.

This is one of the most difficult processes for most people. We tend to struggle with those who think and/or believe differently. We put so much emphasis on people getting to where we are, that we forget to remember how long it took us. Creating a safe environment is crucial in the development of others. They need to know that any criticism is critical, every admonishment is done in love, and every instruction is meant for their betterment.

Honoring Where They Are

While this is part of creating the safe environment, I felt that we needed to understand this a bit deeper.

Honoring someone where they are requires seeing them for who they are. There is no doubt that Jesus could see the finished product, but He had to be willing to deal with what had yet to be done in their lives. He had to bring them along in relationship. It wasn't enough to bark commands and give orders. He demonstrated Kingdom life.

Think about all the things He knew:
They would jockey for position
They would get out in front sometimes
They would often revert to the old way of doing things
They would get caught up in the old way of thinking
They would struggle, fall asleep, and eventually abandon Him
But in the end they would return to carry out the mission.

Honor can be a messy thing. However, it is well worth the wait.

You Can Always Love

If love isn't at the root of all that you are doing, it would be best if you stopped right now. People were not created to be manipulated, controlled, or coerced. They are meant to be loved, encouraged, and built up. If we fail to keep our love on, then we will not honor them. If we fail to keep our love on, then we will not create a safe environment. If we fail to keep our love on, then the invitation is not into relationship.

That's the difference make in my opinion. Discipleship, Mentoring, Leading, whatever you want to call it; it all has to be built on the basis of relationship. Even though some of the Jewish leaders were called Rabbit (which we tend to translate as Teacher), their disciples were often referred to as sons. What you have here, in essence, are Spiritual Fathers with Spiritual Children. They walk, talk, share, and commune together. This is all about relationship. Therefore, love has to be the foundation.

In the end, you will see a mature group of men and women who are ready to carry the torch. Sons and Daughters who will not shrink back from their responsibility. Fathers and Mothers who will rise to lead the next generation. This is what we need. And this is what it takes to shape the next generation of world changers. Open, safe, honoring, and loving environments where they can become. It's not easy. It's not without losses along the way. But it is the relational culture that we desperately need to see emerge within the Church.

This is the "WHAT" of what I have learned. Tomorrow we will focus on the "WHY?". Until then, Enjoy the Journey.