Shout Out for Marriage!!!

In spite of the difficulties that many marriages face, there are some reasons to celebrate. If you are like me, then you are hearing the stories of failed marriages. Unfortunately, you can even see many of them falling apart on facebook. However, I want to give a shout out for the marriages that are making it work.

Last year at this time I was working with a couple to bring some reconciliation to their relationship. They had come through an extremely difficult season, had many reasons to give up, and this week we were able to celebrate some major victories in their family. While I'm not willing to proclaim that the battle is over, I'm rejoicing over at least one couple that has decided that divorce isn't the option.

This story isn't unusual. It's just not one that you hear as often. Our headlines are plagued with stories of celebrity couples that call it quits. Our workplaces are filled with lives that are falling apart. Our schools are filled with children that are waking up in broken homes, spending weekends with one parent or the other, and are trying their best to cope. And last but not least, even our churches have people nestled safely within the walls who aren't willing to work through the stuff. These are the stories that we are used to hearing. These are the stories that seem to get the most attention. But I want to celebrate the marriages that are learning to endure, learning to handle conflict, and learning to love one another.

The question that I often ask but is rarely answered is: Why do people think working on a new relationship is easier or more rewarding than working on a relationship that they are already in? The "grass is always greener" metaphor is garbage when you consider that you have to cut the grass on the other side of the fence. Or when you consider that maybe the grass was greener because they use a lot more *fertilizer. Couples that are willing to take on the difficult task of changing to make their marriage work enjoy the benefits that many people have chosen to live without. Couples that say "Yes" to their family discover a greater love, a greater capacity for forgiveness, and a greater understanding of the heart of God for marriage.

My wife and I will celebrate our 17th Wedding Anniversary this year. It hasn't always been easy. In fact, there was a time when I wondered if we would be able to pull out of the mess we had made. While divorce was never really something we entertained, I'm grateful that we also were not willing to entertain anything else that could have created greater problems. It took an honest evaluation from both of us. It took a willingness to sit across from each other and bare our souls. It also took responsibility from each of us to change what we needed to change. Our marriage has become a testimony of God's incredible grace and unfailing love. I can honestly say that I love my wife more today than I did 17 years ago. I can definitely say that I have learned to appreciate her as an individual, a wife, and a mother. She is God's gift to me and every day I thank Him for allowing us to spend our lives together.

While I celebrate what God has done in our lives, let me celebrate what God is doing in many of yours. Thank you for your willingness to work things out. Thank you for not giving up on your spouse. Thank you for enduring the pain, working through the emotions, and displaying to the world that God's grace is enough. I wish I could give you a trophy but I will let your children be the shining example of what you have accomplished. I would love to parade you all across the stage but I believe the community around you has given witness to what God can do through two people who are willing to make it work. What I will do, as I type these words, is applaud you for saying "Yes" to this most blessed relationship.

To all you married people out there: Keep Working - Keep Loving - Keep Going!!! God is with you in this endeavor.