After receiving some encouraging thoughts about yesterday's blog, I thought we would keep on the theme of marriage. My question for you today is this: Is Love Enough? My answer: Yes & No. Please continue...
Typically, when I share with a couple that is preparing for marriage, I will tell them that love is not enough. Love - in the sense that most people use the word is never enough. Why? Because for the average person, love is simply emotional. We either feel it or we don't. And since most people base their perception of love upon their feelings then we cannot build lasting marriages on the emotion. However, if you and I were to take a biblical approach to love - love that is given rather than earned - love that is stable rather than fluctuating - love that is enduring and never ends, then we can build our lives together.
I told you yesterday that based upon the Hebrew word translated "cleave" we see marriage as a continual love pursuit by a man and woman that causes them to be joined together. While there are many people that would disagree with the idea that this is enough to keep a marriage strong, I hope they would take the time to consider what I am going to share. Think of love in marriage much like what we give and receive during courtship (I know that we rarely use this term anymore but bear with me).
> We are usually quick to forgive!
> We are usually looking to bring more into the relationship than we take!
> We are usually mindful of what we say & how we say it!
> We are usually trying to make the other person "feel" loved!
This is the normal pattern for those who are seeking to build a life together. We don't want anything to go wrong before we get married, so we do everything possible to make this relationship stick. The only problem is that we struggle transferring this type of love into the marriage relationship. Since we finally got what we were looking for, and they committed to stay in this thing for life; we tend to fall into complacency in the marriage. This complacency is what is normally seen as a lack of love or attraction. This complacency also leads to raw conversation where we rarely consider the feelings or thoughts of the other person. Does this sound like the continual pursuit?
What happens in most marriages becomes the constant struggle. The struggle to be heard, honored, and at peace in the relationship. Because of this breakdown we have learned to endure the constant struggle rather than enjoy the continual pursuit. Some people are able to manage the struggle better than others. Most cannot.
How then do we make love a secure foundation? We stop operating in the only love we know and begin to operate in the love that only God can give.
I Corinthians 13 describes to us the unconditional and incredible love of God. This "agape" love bears all things, believes all things, and endures all things. In verse 8 the Bible tells us that "LOVE NEVER FAILS." Based upon this understanding of love, if we operate in the unconditional love of God, we cannot go wrong. This type of love is enough. This type of love is worth pursuing. This type of love will keep us together regardless of what life throws our way.
Look at this way: If my wife and I are continually pursuing this type of love relationship with one another, then we will never give up in our marriage. Our marriage becomes a picture of the constant love pursuit of God for us. He never gave up! He never quit! He never stopped believing that His love would be enough to draw you unto Himself! So if we will operate in His love then we can see the same results.
Practical Application > A man and woman chooses to enter into a covenant that involves the continual pursuit of unconditional for one another that causes them to cling to one another for life. I don't know about you, but the continual pursuit sounds better than the constant struggle. Let's keep chasing!!!
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