Yesterday's blog dealt with building our lives upon a solid foundation. In particular, building our lives upon the words and teachings of Jesus Christ. This is the one time-tested model for building a life that will survive the storms of life.
My work as a pastor allows me to minister in various ways. I preach, teach, evangelize, help comfort, equip the believers, and counsel those in need. The toughest job of any pastor is that of counseling. Why do I say that? Because it's hard to teach people the concept of personal responsibility. I would like to say that this is a new concept. However, if we go all the way back to Genesis (beginnings) we will find Adam & Eve placing the blame on someone else.
When we survey the problems within families, marriages, personal lives, and other relationships - we will quickly find that the majority of problems are there through our own choices/decisions. Sure...there are some problems that have been caused by someone or something else. There may have been a traumatic experience in my life that has caused me to live in fear, shut people down, or live in distrust. There are times that I become a product of what I have been through. But that isn't the reason for all the problems we face. Most of the problems in marriage are there because we have failed to live lives of mutual submission. Instead of the husband "loving his wife as Christ loved the church" and the wife "submitting unto her husband as unto the Lord", I have found that couples have been quick to establish their own identities and routines in marriage. Many of the problems in the home can be resolved if children would "honor their father and mother" and if dads would stop "provoking their children to anger." And these are just some of the issues.
Please read the lyrics from "The Problem" by Downhere. The speak so clearly as to what I want to say to you today.
"There's got to be some reason for all this misery
A secret evil corporation somewhere overseas
They're pulling strings, arranging things
It's a conspiracy
"Or what about the ones who shape the course of history
What if we petitioned for one grand apology?
I'll write to my prime minister
You, write your president
Chorus:
"Everybody's wondering how the world could get this way
If God is good, and how it could be filled with so much pain
It's not the age-old mystery we made it out to be
Yeah, there's a problem with the world
And the problem with the world is me
"Some will say the devil and his legions
They put us in a headlock of submission
But they lost all power over me
A long, long time ago
"And since I was a kid you know I've caused a lot of hurt
And no one ever taught me how to put myself first
It came so very naturally
But I'm not a prodigy
Chorus
Bridge:
"So I will look no further than a mirror
That's where the offender hides
So great is my need for a redeemer
That I cannot trust myself
No, I cannot trust my self
I dare not trust myself
So I trust in someone else
Chorus
"The sooner you can sing along
The sooner you can sing this song
The happier we'll be
The problem with the world is me."
One of my favorite lines is: "No one ever taught me how to put myself first..." How TRUE!
When I read the word of God, the greatest exhortation to the followers of Jesus Christ is to "love one another." Therefore, the church should learn to live in love. Families should learn to live in love. Husbands and wives need to learn to live in love. And when you and I walk in love, we don't have a problem blaming ourselves for our problems. We're not as quick to point to the other individual and say "It's their fault!"
Folks, if I go through the drive-thru at McDonald's and spill a cup of coffee on my lap - it's not their fault. I shouldn't be surprised when the hot coffee burns my flesh because that is what happens when hot coffee hits my legs. In the same way, if I fail to build my life on the principles of God's Word then I can't stand with my fist in the air blaming God for the results. I cannot question God over my marriage when I haven't put anything into my relationship with my wife. We need to be willing to say that we are the problem.
Romans 3:23 says, "for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God." Even in salvation we must recognize that we have been the problem - it's our sin that has driven a wedge between us and God - and be willing to confess our sin so that we may be forgiven. Once we begin to "own" our problems then we can work on fixing them.
I hope that this thought process will help each of us to be willing to examine our own lives. I'm not trying to be critical for the sake of criticism. I want this topic to be constructive in your life. Use it to build upon and I believe that God will bless you. The choice is clear: Construction or Destruction.
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