Wednesday, November 5, 2014

Intentional Relational Living

For the longest time I believed that if I learned enough, studied more, and could articulate what I believed, then I would be able to walk these things out. I took Paul's admonishment to Timothy about studying to show himself approved strictly to an intellectual level. It never occurred to me that where I was trying to go could only be accomplished through relationship.

Like so many other things in the Kingdom, there is so much of this life that is caught rather than taught. While I am all for digging into our Bibles and rehearsing what we believe, I have discovered that the best way to grow is in relationship. If there are areas of my life where I want to advance, I need to surround myself with people who live intentionally in those things.

Discipleship has often been handled as an educational thing. This is the premise behind Sunday School, Discipleship groups, and almost all of the ways to "learn & grow" that our churches put before you. These things are all meant to educate you. And while there is value in being educated, the greatest teacher in our lives is experience. Accumulating knowledge doesn't necessarily mean that we will walk out the things that we say we believe. Discipleship, in the Bible, is always relational because it's in relationship where we get to learn, ask questions, and are allowed to employ the knowledge we have gained. Not only that, it is in relationship where we see someone model things for us.

I'm a firm believer, now, that if I want to grow in grace, love, humility, etc., then I need to find someone who carries these things well. I need to learn from them. I need to see them in action. This is the format for growth in my own life that I have followed over the last few years. The Lord would stir my heart in a particular area and then He would allow me to walk in relationship with someone who has already been down that path. In relationship I have learned how to live life in the Spirit, how to appropriate the grace of God for me, and how to walk in redemptive love. These were not lessons learned in a classroom. These were not things I received by placing myself in isolation. They all came through relationship with my brothers/sisters in Christ.

I have a friend that I used to get around simply because he provoked me to jealousy. That may sound odd but it wasn't a bad kind of jealousy. I would hear his stories, watch him in action, and talk to him about the deep things of God. I never walked away from him feeling bad about myself but encouraged to go deeper in my own walk with the Lord. I paid careful attention to the things he said, I trusted his heart, and I found myself being able to walk in these same areas.

Another friend of mine carries redemptive love so well. I made a point to be in his presence as much as possible. I watched him care for the people he led. I heard him speak into their lives. I witnessed firsthand what redemptive love looked like and sounded like. I was then able to employ these same approaches with people in my own life. Life became the classroom & the Holy Spirit became the guide.

This is the same approach I have used when it comes to spiritual gifts. I have people in my life who function in several areas & I wanted to learn. It's one thing to read a book or Scripture on the subject, it's quite another thing to sit across from someone who can impart their wisdom & help you learn, grow, and practice. The depths you are able to go into while walking in relationship are so much greater than what you can do alone.

We learn best through living, breathing, examples. We must surround ourselves with those who walk in redemptive love, empowering grace, and life in the Spirit. This culture, this Kingdom Culture, is where the cultivation of these things take place. I have watched far too many people try to grow in particular areas that went against the current culture they lived in. While they were able to take a few steps in the right direction, it was only when they partnered with someone - lived in relationship with them - that they could flourish. This is what our churches desperately need.

Allow me to encourage you. I don't know what areas of life where you feel the need to grow, so my encouragement is to find someone who is strong in those areas. Walk with them. Talk with them. Pray with them. Be challenged by them. Don't allow another day to go by before you act. There is a good chance that the Holy Spirit is pointing these things out in your life and wants to take you on a journey. He wants to lead you in an experience. Trust me when I say that it's much easier together than it is alone. Growth is much more exponential in relationship. Become INTENTIONAL. Great things are ahead.

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