Don't misunderstand me. I do believe Solomon is talking about the need to control ourselves. However, when it comes to dealing with the spirit there is much more that we need to understand.
The Hebrew word used for spirit in this verse gives us the image of a rational being. Man, was made a living soul by the breath of God. We are spiritual beings living in a fleshly body. How we express ourselves and function in relationships is all about the spirit man inside of us. Left uncontrolled our spirit can be like a tempest or a whirlwind. On the other hand, when we are willing to control ourselves, our spirit can be soothing, calm, and reassuring. The difference is usually found in whether we respond to a situation or react.
One of the early lessons we had to teach our son was how to gain self-control. We used the simple tool of interlacing his fingers to give him a picture of what self-control looked like. Whenever he wanted to react out of his emotions, we would encourage him to "get control" and immediately he would bring his hands together. Although he is 13 years old now, we continue to remind him of this lesson. Why? Because learning to control ourselves is one of the most vital lessons of life. If Solomon thought it necessary to pass this instruction down to his son, don't you think we should do the same?
Learning how to respond to what life throws our way can make all the difference. I'm often reminded of this when our nation faces tragedy like we saw in Oklahoma this week. Responding to a disaster rather than reacting to it can be crucial as it relates to the rate of recovery. Response is tied directly to thinking rationally. Reaction is normally linked to being in the heat of the moment. So I want you to think with me: Would you rather be a Responder or a Reactor?
While this verse carries the idea of self-control, I want us to look a little deeper. Learning how to control our spirit also requires learning how to persuade it. We cannot allow ourselves to be fooled by emotions. We must not allow the circumstances of life to dictate what goes on inside of us. We have to master the art of being in control emotionally, mentally, spiritually, and physically. Locked within the spirit of man is the nature of God. Tapping into His nature - regardless of everything around me - can bring about some amazing results.
The good news in all of this: You Have a Helper - aka The Holy Spirit. The fruit of the Holy Spirit in our lives (among many others things) is self-control. When you and I learn what it means to "walk in the Spirit" then self-control will be a natural overflow. We don't have to muster up the strength. We don't have to pick ourselves up by our own boot straps. We simply allow Him to lead the way. Of course, depending upon your faith background, you may have absolutely now idea on how to do this. This is especially true if Christianity has been nothing more than a list of external rules to follow. This is true for many believers. We have lost the understanding of what it means to be spiritual beings. Therefore, everything is rooted in our ability, our determination, and our strength. Where is the grace of God in all of this? It's usually on the back end waiting to forgive us rather than on the front end ready to provide the power we need.
One of the ways that you can prepare yourself to respond is by learning everything you can about your identity in Christ. Knowing who God is for you and who you are in Him is a vital exercise in training your spirit and learning how to respond in the Spirit of Christ. When we do not do these things then that "burst of air" inside of us (our spirit) can become a destructive force. Tied simply to our emotions rather than the Truth of God's Word can lead to actions that will leave us desolate and in danger.
In ancient days, city walls were necessary. They protected the people from the enemies on the outside while trying to ensure that only the right people got inside. Living without self-control is like allowing the enemy to come inside and destroying our lives from the inside out. We have seen this in people who were not willing to give up certain habits, lifestyles, and/or addictions. I have also seen this in people who were unwilling to forgive, give up bitterness/resentment, and were unwilling to live in reconciliation. These things are like a cancerous cell. And when left untreated it brings devastation from within.
Like these ancient cities, you need to surround yourself with the Truth. You need to reinforce your life with your identity in Christ. This is more than just memorizing verses. It's learning how to establish your heart in God. It's living from His viewpoint. It's repenting when your mindset is wrong and renewing your mind in such a way that brings about transformation. It's choosing to live in the Spirit rather than through the emotions.
Don't be fooled into thinking that you don't have a choice in the matter. Never allow the enemy to set the agenda in your life. Decide right now that you will not be a man or a woman who lives without the Spirit's control in your life. Decide how you will respond to the things that come into your life. Discover what is available in the abundant life of Christ. In His nature you can forgive those who hurt you, pray for those who use you, bless those who curse you, and give mercy to those who would bring harm to you. It's all wrapped up in the Divine Nature that is within you called Holy Spirit. He will make sure that you have everything you need for life and godliness. In fact...you already have it.
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