...And The Two Shall Become One

I hate to admit it, but I got it wrong. What I thought I was reading, hearing, and believing; turned out to be quite different. I'm talking about marriage. The incredible bond between one man and one woman. The lifetime commitment of growing together, learning about the other, and the falling deeper in love with your spouse kind of marriage. I got it wrong. What I realized is that the "I DO" didn't DO IT.

The "I DO" didn't DO IT because the "I DO" is only the beginning. I read a quote about marriage that really sums up what I'm trying to say here: "A strong marriage isn't magically created when you say 'I Do'...It's built on a lifetime of 'I Dos': I DO love you, I DO cherish you, and I DO choose you." While we may like to think we are one. And in many ways we are simply through the commitment of ourselves to the other. The reality is that we are BECOMING one.

I was thinking about this verse the other day when that word really jumped out to me. BECOMING. I heard the Lord say afresh that "the two shall become one." Emphasis on the becoming. I was blown away. What I saw unfolding before me is the process. The life together. The continual pursuit of one another. The old King James English came back to me. It's the "Cleaving" that ensures the "Becoming."

It's been a while since I talked about this, but I was reminded of a series of blog posts I wrote concerning the subject of marriage and the idea of pursuing your spouse. You can actually search "the continual pursuit" and come up with several posts. The pursuit imagery comes from the word "cleaving." It figuratively means to pursue to overtake. Carrying the idea of a hunter chasing after his game. Don't get me wrong in this. Your wife is not a trophy to be captured. She is a treasure worth seeking out. She longs to be discovered, to be cherished, to be pursued. I have yet to talk to a woman who does not want to be pursued by her husband. In the same way, I have never talked to a man who doesn't want to have his wife long for him either. Your husband is not a social status to be achieved. He is a warrior that needs a cause. This is the art of cleaving. This is the process of becoming.

Legally my wife and I became one in the act of marriage. However, spiritually, emotionally, mentally, and relationally takes time. Our vows of commitment to one another were a seed that was planted deep within us. We nurture that seed. We give it room to grow. We ensure its safety. We do what is necessary to allow what is in our heart the opportunity to flesh itself out in our lives. I believe one of the greatest struggles in marriage is what we do with the seasons that tend to come in and out of our marriage. There will be times where we endure the storms and we enjoy the peace. There will be times of struggle and times of complete and utter joy. Together we learn how to shorten the difficult seasons and lengthen the joyful ones. Maturing, Learning, Laughing, Crying, Being - Together. That's the process of becoming.

Marriage does require endurance, but ONENESS is worth it. It's the pinnacle of our relationship. In the same way that Jesus could say, "I and My Father are One", we should be able to say, "My spouse and I are One." This requires self-giving mutual love. It means the fleshing out of all that we say we believe. It's about being love to one another consistently. Forgiving quickly. Extending mercy continually. It's the willingness to fight for the identity of our spouse and living in ours. Does that sound like wedded bliss? Did your realize this is what you signed up for? While it may sound like hard work, maybe even an impossible endeavor, the reality is that this union can be the greatest expression of the Father's heart for humanity. The most beautiful reflection of the life of the Trinity.

The continual pursuit. The lifetime of chasing. The process of becoming. All of it a picture of what the Lord is doing in conforming us into the image of Christ. Let's not sell ourselves short. Good enough can't be enough when Oneness is the goal.
Do I believe this is possible? With everything in me.
Do I believe this will take time? Possibly a lifetime.
Do I believe it's worth it? I've committed my life to it.

Enjoy the journey!