The Confessional

Many of you know that I have been working on a book. It's been a long process, but I'm determined to complete it. As I was working through some of the chapters this morning, I had an idea about the introduction to the book. This may or may not be a part of the final product. However, I hope that it proves helpful in your own journey of grace.

An ex-Catholic once told me that confession is good for the soul. Since this book is about honest confessions, I thought this would be an appropriate introduction:

CONFESSION #1
I don’t know what I’m doing. Writing is a hobby, not a way of life. It is something that has always brought joy. I blog, but who doesn’t blog these days? I play around with poetry and have even tried to write a song or two. But by the grace of God I hope to put together some thoughts that will help you in your journey.

CONFESSION #2
My journey with Christ began as a child. At least that when was I started to learn how to jump through the hoops of religion. I prayed every night (mostly for forgiveness). I was baptized (in a creek…outside). I did all the church stuff (plays, choir, Sunday School, and communion). All for naught. When I was 17 years old, I prayed the sinner’s prayer and gave my life to Jesus. Little did I know that I would make a statement that evening that would define my Christian life for 17+ years: “I hope I don’t mess this up.”

CONFESSION #3
I messed it up!
For almost two decades I messed it up. The roller coaster of faith was exhausting. Hot one day, cold the next. Mountain tops and valleys would dominate the landscape. It was expected. It’s all everyone talked about those days. I believed that a normal Christian existence meant that I would go through seasons of strength, seasons of weakness. My calling, my vocation in ministry, didn’t help. I felt as though all my time was spent drawing from the well of forgiveness. While I believed this well was inexhaustible, who wants to spend their life begging to be clean…to be free?

CONFESSION #4
I didn’t understand grace. At all. I understood the definition of grace that was given to me, but I didn’t understand what grace was all about. For years I was told that grace was God’s unmerited favor. I believed that grace was all about being forgiven. That was my life. Just enough grace to be forgiven, but not enough grace to be victorious. It was a vicious cycle. A damning existence. A Reverend Dimmesdale existence wrought with guilt, shame, fear, and condemnation. I doubted that I would ever recover.

CONFESSION #5
Something had to change, and it did. With one word, the Father brought about an amazing change in my life. It was a word that I was accustomed to using, but it was also a word that I had previously misunderstood. A simple word study would reveal the abundant life that I was missing. An expanded definition that I had access to for all those years. Stripped away from religious exercise, this word would finally stand alone as a crowning achievement of Jesus’ finished work in me. The word was/is GRACE, and its impact upon my life was breathtaking.

CONFESSION #6
Everything I thought I knew had to be thrown out the window. All of my groveling, all of my begging, and all of my whining had to cease. I could no longer view life through the tainted lens of my inadequacies. Once this word had taken root in my heart, existing was no longer an option. I had to live.

CONFESSION #7
My study was in a finished room in the basement. I leaned back in my office chair as my head was swimming with the possibilities. The screen of my computer was filled with the Bible Study program that I often used for sermon preparation. In my hands I held a copy of Jim Richards’ book “Grace, the Power to Change.” A Bible was laid open before me on the desk. Could it be that I have missed it for so long? Richards said so. Thayer’s Greek Definitions agreed. One word would usher in a life that I did not know existed: Grace (in the English) – Charis (in the Greek) – the merciful kindness of God that turns us to Christ, keeps us, strengthens us, and enables us. A divine enablement. A grace that I could know, could grow in, and allow to work in me. It was like been born anew. I wept with the awareness of His goodness.

CONFESSION #8
This wouldn’t be easy. Two decades of religious performance would not leave quietly. While I wanted to take this truth and run with it, the reality is that I knew it had to become a foundation to build my life upon. This meant dismantling everything. It meant tearing out some old foundations before the rebuilding could begin. The key to the process would be understanding my identity in Christ. I had to see myself the way that the Father saw me or grace would become just another work.

CONFESSION #9
This newness of life would require some perseverance and practice. The difference was amazing, but the learning curve was huge. Rather than living with a constant awareness of what I was not, I was now consumed by the awareness of who I was in Him. I was forgiven, accepted, loved, more than a conqueror, the righteousness of God in Christ, etc. Even if I didn’t feel it, my faith would allow me to settle into this new identity. The awareness of who I was in Christ would allow the grace of God to flow freely.

CONFESSION #10
I stopped trying.
That means that I honestly banked it all upon the grace of God.
Performance would no longer be the measuring stick of my stature. Who I was and how I lived my life would now be defined by Him. Christ in me would be the hope of glory. I would discover that everything that I needed for life and godliness was resident within me. The Holy Spirit would ensure that there was enough love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control to go around. The Kingdom of God would no longer be a distant hope, but an abiding reality. So I stopped trying. I honestly allowed Him to do the work within me. All I had to do was believe and participate in this new way of life.

Will you join me?