It’s easy to understand how we got to this place. Most of our relationships were not built on unconditional love. Even in the best of homes, with the best of parents, and with the best surroundings; many of us lived unaware of this concept (much less its reality). We may have been told everyday of our lives that we were loved, but due to the correction and/or instruction we received love is often reduced to something we have to earn.
This idea of love has been carried over into the Christian faith. It flows quite seamlessly throughout the fabric of our lives. It’s hard to imagine that we have created a God in our own image of love rather than allowing the Word of God (Jesus) to define Him, but that is exactly what we have done. John made it quite clear in his letter to the church that God is LOVE. It’s not something He does but who He is. It’s not just an attribute of God but the very essence of His nature. When we come to grips with the fact that GOD IS LOVE and that He cannot operate outside of His nature then it will be much easier to accept that WE ARE LOVED. John goes on in His letter to tell us that when you and I are perfected in love then it will cast out all fear. This does not describe many of the believers that I have met. In fact, it’s quite the opposite.
The day I stopped trying to “please God” was the day that I realized that I was accepted in Christ. I discovered that God had completely immersed me in Christ at the cross, at His burial, and at His resurrection. I was crucified, dead, buried, and alive in Him. What was truly amazing about this discovery is when I found out that God did this before the foundation of the world. That’s right! God had already chosen to put us into Christ well before Adam & Eve fell in the Garden. This is the breathtaking nature of the mystery of the Gospel. It’s the part of our faith that causes us to stand in awe at the goodness of God. It was His decision from the start. It was His choice to have His Son numbered with the sinners. It was His design to reconcile the world to Himself through the offering of His Son. And it was His predetermined idea to put us into a position where we could readily be adopted as sons by placing us in Christ.
One of the books that God used to awaken me to this reality of love was “The Shack” by William Young. In this book there is a conversation between Mack & Papa about the nature of expectations in relationships. Listen to Papa’s reply: “Honey, I’ve never placed an expectation on you or anyone else. The idea behind expectations requires that someone does not know the future or outcome and is trying to control behavior to get the desired result. Humans try to control behavior largely through expectations. I know you and everything about you. Why would I have an expectation other than what I already know? That would be foolish. And beyond that, because I have no expectations, you never disappoint me.” [page 206]
I will never forget that moment: The moment I realized that God knew everything that He needed to know about me and I was accepted in Christ anyway. When I lost the idea of expectations in my relationship with God then I could learn how to live in expectancy. I could rejoice over the things that He rejoiced over. I could pick myself up when I failed because I could stand confidently in my love relationship with God.
Pleasing God is an idea that comes from an imperfect understanding of love. While I seek to do the things that I know are in God’s will for me, I don’t do any of it from a mindset of pleasing God. Instead, I do those things from a relational mindset of living loved. The best earthly example I have of this comes from my own personal experience. During our teenage years, my brother and I were met with a challenge. Our mom had left which meant three men were living in a house together. This meant that cooking, cleaning, laundry, doing the dishes, etc. were placed squarely on all our shoulders. My Dad made a decision – we would all do our share. My brother and I took turns with the dishes and on the weekends we would split the house cleaning chores. Dad would take care of the cooking and the laundry. The outside chores were already ours to share with one another. Over the course of those next four to five years this is how we lived. This is how our home operated. In all that time, I never considered those chores (those things that were a part of the will of my father) to be burdensome or restricting. We also never did any of these chores wondering if Dad was going to be pleased with us. Was he pleased? Of course. However, he was never displeased when we slacked on a chore or neglected dusting from time to time. He would often give us instructions or encouragement but he was never put out by our lack of doing. It was a part of our partnership together. How does this relate to pleasing God? Pleasing someone is never an issue when you know you are loved. Learning to partner with God becomes the issue as it relates to the Kingdom. He’s already pleased with me because I am in Christ.
Somewhere along the way you are going to have to ask some serious questions:
*If God has placed me in Christ then how does God feel about His Son?
*If God has placed me in Christ then what is Christ experiencing in His relationship with the Father?
Friend, there is nothing you could ever do that could make God love you more. There is nothing that you could ever do to make Him love you less. He loves you because He loves you. The quality of your life may be determined by how you partner with God, but the quality of His love will never change. You – YES…YOU – are already pleasing to God.
Stop trying. Start Living!
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