Paul had just finished summing up what he believes is the way in which most people view him and the other apostles. Men sentenced to death. Fools for the sake of the gospel. A spectacle to the world. He did not say these things to shame the people at Corinth, but to admonish them as his beloved children. Paul honestly felt a kinship to this church, and rightly so. He was used of God for the birthing of this koinonia. He was with them in the beginning. He had done what any good father would do in raising up sons. He had given them the Gospel, and shared with them what the life of faith looks like. While so many were claiming loyalties to other men of God, and creating division among themselves, the apostle here asserts his God given role.
I believe we struggle to understand spiritual fathering because we grew up only understanding the role of a pastor. He was the guy who preached every Sunday (and any other day of the week designated). He guided us. Became a shepherd to the flock. Was the primary voice that we heard. Of course, many of us also had Sunday School teachers. People that we often looked up to as men and women of God. But how many of them actually took on the role of fathering? How many of them had sons who would sit at their feet, learn from them, and carry the mantle (if you will) of this individual? Not many. And to be honest with you, I don't that there is a surefire way of dealing with this lack in the Body of Christ. All I know is that fathers are needed.
Another way of looking at spiritual fathering is a word that many feel more comfortable using. That word is "mentoring." A mentor is an experienced and trusted adviser. Someone we look to for wisdom, advice, and council. While spiritual mentoring is helpful, I don't believe that it replaces the need for fathering. *Please note that when I speak of fathering that I do not mean this term to be gender specific*
A great way to view spiritual fathering is found in this definition: "A spiritual father (or mother) helps a spiritual son (or daughter) reach his or her God-given potential." Not only that, but I believe a spiritual father walks much more closely with an individual than a mentor. A father is someone you glean from. You see how they live their lives and you learn to emulate. Just as Paul could say to the people at Corinth, "be imitators of me", a spiritual father provides an example of what the Christian life looks like in everyday life.
So many in the church fear this approach. They don't want to be followers of men. However, I don't believe that people in the church are as independent as they believe themselves to be. They just don't have this type of intimate relationship with someone. They have missed out on the beauty of true discipleship, which happens in relationship. We have done fairly well at making this thing all about throwing out principles and rules for people to adhere to. But we have done a horrible job of walking with others.
In Titus we read about the older men and women taking the younger believers under their wing. Teaching them what it means to live the faith in their generation. Something that has been terribly lacking in the church. It's so easy for us to put it all on teachers and preachers, all the while missing out on an incredible opportunity to raise up sons. Not only that, but so many of these young believers are walking around aimlessly. Forging a Christianity that is void of fathering.
Others among us have simply become a follower of their favorite TV preacher. I don't refer to this person as a pastor in this regard because they aren't actually pastoring the individual watching. This approach to spirituality is void of so many things. It doesn't require intimacy. There is no accountability. It is lacking the care and instruction that fathering provides. Instead, we simply find a preacher that we like, one who says the things that we already agree with, and they become the voice we often heed. Sometimes what this TV personality says can become even more important than the pastor we sit under every week. At what point will this madness end? Paul's words to the early church still ring true today. There is no doubt that we have 10,000 (and counting) instructors in Christ, but we don't have many fathers. In most cases we don't even have one.
With all of that being said, I do realize that we don't enter anything without discernment. There are some leaders who have used fathering and shepherding as a way of controlling and manipulating individuals. However, fear cannot dictate our direction. There should be people in our lives that we can look up to, trust, and ultimately walk with. People who have given themselves to the Gospel and the establishment of the Kingdom. People who have a track record of loving God and others. Who are mature, solid, and established. This person may be your pastor. He or she may be a Sunday School teacher, or they may lead a particular ministry. They may just have a testimony of being a godly spouse, parent, and citizen in the community. They don't have to possess a title. They just need to have a heart to be a father. And you, well you need the heart of a son.
The Kingdom of God moves at the speed of relationship. Don't miss out on the people that our Heavenly Father places in your life. They very well could be the person that helps you reach your full potential.
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