More Healthy Church Family Stuff

When I attended Bible College we had to read a book entitled "Healing the Dysfunctional Church Family" and it was quite the eye opener. The book provided some wonderful insight into what people carried into church life with them. This may be hard for the average attender to see during regular services, but many pastors understand the importance of healthy families within the church.

[I appreciate the incentive but I wonder if the person who created this sign really knows what they are asking for]

Healthy families are crucial to healthy church families. It's really hard for us to be the "one big happy family" that Peter spoke of when we haven't come into that reality in our own homes. Whether we choose to see this or not, healthy spousal and parental relationships will make a huge difference in how we relate to one another in the spiritual family. If honor, unconditional love, grace, and mercy haven't been handled properly in the home - they will not be evident in God's house.

I have told our PBC Family that their home is their church. We now know the role that Fathers have in representing the heart of God to their children and spouses. Siblings play an integral part in how we understand Jesus. Mothers teach us how to relate to the Holy Spirit. While this may not be true in every home, it's amazing what people reveal about their understanding of the Godhead that is directly tied to how they interact within their natural families.

Dads - learn how to carry the Father heart of God.
Your role in the family is crucial. God has allowed us to be the spiritual heads of our families. This doesn't mean we are control freaks who cannot handle disobedience or disrespect. I mean...look at how God handles ours. Instead, we must spend some time with our Heavenly Father so that we may display His heart. We are more than just Providers and Protectors. We are a lens through which our families experience God. When dads are always busy with other things, rough in their dealings with the family, or not present - our kids especially will have a mental image of God that says they cannot count on Him.

Moms - allow the Holy Spirit to nurture you so that you may nurture others.
The Holy Spirit is referred to as a Comforter which makes perfect sense. His presence guides us, speaks to us, teaches us, and brings us along in the journey. Is not this the role of the mother in any family? Where do the kids run to when they are hurt? Where do they look for reassurance? The way in which a mother handles this role can create a comfort level with the Holy Spirit unlike any other relationship. It can also cause great damage in how we relate to Him. If a mother is distracted, concerned only about herself, and disregards the needs of the family - it can carry over into what we believe about the Holy Spirit.

Siblings - you carry the heart of Jesus in a unique way - find the grace to make it a reality.
I once asked the Lord about a specific time in my life where I wanted to see Him at work. It was during the time when my mother left my father and I just needed some reassurance that God was with me. As I prayed about this, the Lord showed me that He was very present in my brother during that time of my life. I was overwhelmed to find Jesus in him and also sad that I didn't recognize it at the time. Healthy relationships among our children are important. It is through this natural part of the family that we learn how to interact with Jesus. It's one of the main reasons that I constantly teach my kids the words of Jesus. What He conveys, we as siblings get to carry.

Don't misunderstand me in all of this. We have found that even people with a dysfunctional family have somehow still received a proper view of the Godhead. Their understanding may be more tied to a grandparent, a cousin, or a close family friend but they got it and for that we are thankful. Even in the most dysfunctional families children can still receive a pretty good mental image of Father, Son, & Holy Spirit at least in some area. I'm just not a big fan of creating an environment for our families where they have to overcome so much to see God for who He really is.

Also, how we handle conflict in the home is crucial to how we handle conflict in the church. Our ability to forgive, extend grace, show mercy, and give love without condition in our homes will be the way we do these things in the church. It was the reason for the book that I read in college. To heal the dysfunctional church family means that we have to see healing in the dysfunctional families that come through the doors of our buildings. That is why it is so important to help build healthy family relationships.

Take some time to evaluate what can be different in the home. Ask the Lord to show you areas where you could carry His heart in a much better way. Consider ways that we can bring our kids into an encounter with the Lord through our lives. I promise you that if this is what you want, Papa will partner with you. He loves nothing more than to see a family that learns to carry His presence, His affection, His grace, and His mercy. It is my belief that this is where it all begins in the first place. We are our children's first encounter with the Creator. Let's make it a good one!!!