Getting Rid of a Critical Spirit

Several years ago I made a decision to stop being so critical of others. Though it hasn't always been easy, I have tried to grant them the same mercy and grace that I would want to receive. While this sounds like a basic rule for life, the reality is that we have been conditioned to be critical. Some more than others. Have you ever been around someone who never had anything positive to say about anyone? Have you had to bow out of a conversation that was steeped in negativity? Does the constant criticism of people get under your skin? If you answered "Yes" to any of these questions, you are well on your way to ridding yourself of a critical spirit.

Jesus had plenty to say about our judgement of other people. How we are all to willing to point out the speck in our brother's eye while ignoring the beam in our own. I'm sure we have all been there at some point. Believing we had a right/a duty to tell someone about the issues we see in their life and they quickly turn to ours. It's a rather humbling experience. While I do believe there is a place for criticism - in relationship, I also believe that we should never engage someone critically unless we have first spoken with the Lord. Hear these words from Jesus: Matthew 7:1-2, "Don’t criticize people, and you will not be criticized. For you will be judged by the way you criticize others, and the measure you give will be the measure you receive." Phillips Translation

First of all, allow me to say that I can easily be one of the most critical people in the room. It comes rather naturally. Judging people by their actions, comparing them to my own sense of holiness, and questioning their motives are all attitudes that I picked up somewhere along the way. So for me to say to you that I'm trying to give to others what I would like to receive is not a way to place myself upon a platform. I'm simply sharing with you the work of grace in my own life. It took years to get here. It took years to recognize how selfish I could be. It took years to deal with my own insecurities and realize how I allowed criticism of others to make me feel better about myself. It was the verses that I posted up above that the Holy Spirit used to finally get my attention.

If I take the words of Jesus seriously. And I do. Then how can I sit in judgement of others? How can I possibly consider pointing out their issues if I haven't been willing to deal with my own? This is exactly what Jesus is talking about. He's not saying that we shouldn't talk to people when their choices are hurting them and others. He's not asking us to sit back and allow people to destroy their lives. What He is dealing with is the position we often take where we believe ourselves to be better than someone else. It's when our critique of them is founded solely upon our own sense of holiness. When we never take into account our own problems, our own sin, or our own issues.

There have been times that I have been critical of the church. Critical of church leadership. Critical about our failures when it comes to reaching this generation. If you didn't know my heart, it would be easy to think that I have some kind of issue with the church. I do not. Over the last 22 years I have devoted my life to ministry within the church. It has been my heart to see the Bride of Christ be everything she was created to become. I love the church. I desperately want to be a part of the solution. I want to see all of the individual members come together. I want us to grow in love. I want to see the manifestation of the Kingdom of God through us. Any and all criticism is meant for us to see deeper into ourselves. To ask if we are living up to our identity.

Right there is the issue folks. When we are talking with someone and we discover that they have wandered away from their identity in Christ, that is when we can speak to them. Rather than focusing upon the speck in their eye, we go to the root of the problem. As long as we are dealing with specks, we never get to the heart of the matter. I was having this discussion last night. When our focus is on sin as a behavior, we think we can fix the problem by stopping the behavior. What we have learned over the years is that Christianity is not about behavior modification. It's about a radical transformation in our lives. Experiencing the love of God in Jesus. Seeing ourselves for who we were meant to be, and living out our identity in Christ. Our behavior will change, but only when what we believe changes first. Behavior always follows beliefs.

I take this approach with my children. I want them to understand first and foremost that their identity is one of a son. A maturing child of God. We are taking the steps we need to as parents to raise our daughter as a Queen and our son as a King. Whenever their behavior steps out of this identity, we remind them of who they are. We ask questions related to this identity. We try to discover what it was in the first place that caused them to act outside of character. This is an area where the church can do a much better job. We have been all to willing to simply identify people based upon their particular sins. We say things like, "Well Paul talked about everyone falling short of the glory of God." We use the Bible to justify our criticism. However, if you look closely to what Paul is saying, you will discover that he is not making these statements to leave people in that place. He is saying that the same people who have fallen short have received grace through the redemption that is in Jesus. Therefore, it is not enough to deal with people on the basis of their sins. We are to deal with them based upon the redemption we have found in Jesus.

I realize that this approach is quite different than what we are used to seeing and hearing, but I want you to consider the changes that will be created in your own heart. Think about Jesus statement again: "the measure you use will be measured back to you." What if you determined to give nothing but grace? What if you determined to show nothing but mercy? What if you choose love over hate, compassion over criticism, empathy over anger? Imagine how open your heart would be to others. Imagine ridding yourself completely of a critical spirit. Not only would you discover grace for yourself, but you would discover an incredible amount of grace for others.

This is the liberty and love we discover in the Gospel. This is the nature of the Father that we see on display in Jesus. "A bruised reed He will not break, and a smoldering wick He will not quench." Finally, the New Living Translation says, He will cause justice to be victorious. How can we read these statements and not be in awe of the nature of our Heavenly Father? How can we read these statements and not realize the changes we could make in how we deal with people? It's possible...when we get rid of our criticism. When we lay aside our negativity. When we choose to see the world through the judgement of love.