Moving Out of the "Bless Me" Mentality

Are you ready for a change in your thinking? Are you discovering that simply doing what has always been done isn't working? Have you ever considered that asking God to bless what we are doing rather than doing what He is blessing isn't getting the job done? What I want to share with you today applies in so many areas of life. And the only way to get there is to move out of the "Bless Me" mentality.

God has greater designs on life, relationships, ministry, church, etc. than we could ever hope to possess. One of the struggles of humanity is thinking that we have to come up with our own strategies, our own solutions, and our own systematic way of doing things. The truth of the matter is, when we learn to listen to the Lord, He has a way of giving us exactly what we need.

Many of you know that I pastor a local fellowship of believers. Over the years I have encountered many conferences, listened to many speakers, sat in on a number of meetings that were designed to help us think outside of the box. The problem that I have seen is that the box keeps getting bigger and bigger. It used to be that the box was labeled traditional/religious thinking. Now the box has other labels: denominational thinking, cultural acceptance, social norms, etc. The danger in all of this is that we can find ourselves taking ideas, strategies, and even structures that are not designed for our specific needs as a body. The reason this happens is quite simple. We are asking God to bless what we are doing rather than doing what He is blessing. The latter requires us to hear from Him.

I'm also a husband and a father. Trust me when I say that there are PLENTY of resources for both. The relationship of marriage and parenting can be reduced to a checklist that came from the latest study, devotional, book, or conference rather than the true intimate relationship that it is designed to be. Have you ever heard the phrase "I raised them by the book"? The only question is "Which book did you use?" Don't get me wrong...I'm all for educating ourselves about relationships and approaches to situations. I just think that the Lord can teach us far more about our spouses, our children, and ourselves than we can learn from other sources. Of course, this requires us allowing the Lord to speak to us. It also requires us to stop asking God to bless what we are doing and to begin doing what He is blessing.

I could go on and on. I could show you how we have been shaped to think in several key areas of life. I could show you how our cultural background, our religious affiliation, and our traditional thinking have allowed us to put God in a box along with our spouse, our children, other relationships, and our every day lives. The label on this box is "control" and we love to be in control of our environments. We love to be in control of every factor of life. And in the midst of all of this, if we are not careful, we will never allow these areas of life to grow into anything real and lasting. We will also find ourselves continually asking God to bless what we are doing rather than do what He is blessing.

Ask yourself these questions:
- What is God blessing in my relationship with Him?
- What is God blessing in my relationship with my spouse?
- What is God blessing in my relationship with my children?
- What is God blessing in __________________________ ?

I think you will be surprised by the answer (or the lack of one). What I am discovering in my personal walk with the Lord is that He is blessing in areas that no one mentioned in those early discipleship days. He still honors Bible reading, prayer, and other basic areas. However, at least for me, the greatest blessings are coming through authenticity. It's just me being real with God and Him being real with me. Over the last few years I have discovered a reality of relationship with Him that I did not think possible. And through this discovery I'm recognizing that in Christ there is no pressure to perform or conform. There is only an invitation to transform by renewing my mind. (EXHALE...Aaaahhhhh....)

Not only is this true in my walk with the Lord but it is true in other relationships as well. It's learning to live without the pressure. Learning to live without a performance or conformity mentality keeps me from placing undue expectations on myself, on my spouse, and on my children. And since I'm living outside the pressure cooker I can allow myself to be myself, allow my wife and children to be who they are created to be, and I can allow God to speak life into these relationships.

This may sound too simplistic for some of you. I'm okay with that. This might sound too complex for others because it does require an intimacy with God that quite frankly religion can never pass down to you. This is where the change needs to happen. It needs to take place in the way we think - the way we perceive God and others...HECK...even the way we see ourselves. We have to stop thinking that if I do "this" that God will bless me and start asking God "Where are the areas that He wants to bless."

It's a life of partnership with Him. And when you choose to live that partnership in every area of life I can guarantee that you will enjoy the journey. May you be blessed to live authentically within your relationship with God and everyone else.

The Process...

I'll admit that I didn't have much to write about this morning. I've been thinking through a lot of different stuff but nothing hit me. That is...that is until I hear a brief clip of a Graham Cooke teaching. It was perfect for what I was dealing with and thought it would make a great topic of discussion. So let's talk about "The Process."

There is something that each of us must discover about life in general: It's a Process. There's no such thing as being born into the world and all of a sudden you are a mature adult. It requires time. It requires learning. It requires making choices. In other words, it requires a process.

What is true in the natural is true in the spiritual. What we become in the Kingdom of God doesn't happen through a snap of the fingers or the laying on of hands. The Christian life is filled with processes. We will not become spiritually mature by accident. It doesn't happen overnight. Don't misunderstand what I'm saying. God in His power and in His grace quickens many of the processes. But to become who we are meant to be in the Kingdom will take time. It will mean going through the process.

This is a lesson that I must continually learn. Church bodies go through process. Ministries go through process. Leaders go through process. Who I am today as a parent is due to how I have responded to the process of parenting. Who I am as a husband has come through the process of marriage. The willingness on my part to recognize who I am in each situation, learn through the lessons of life, and being willing to grow has brought me to where I am today. There was some initiative on my part and a LOT of grace on God's part. I'm not where I want to be but thankfully I'm not where I used to be. Where am I? I'm still in the process.

I used the picture of a drop of water to provide some imagery to the process. Each drop of water creates a ripple effect. Ask yourself the question: What is God trying to drop into my life that will create such a ripple effect that it will transform me into the person He wants me to be? Where are you in the process?

Enjoy the journey...& Enjoy the process!!!

Every Day God

I'm convinced (as Pearl Bailey is quoted as saying) that "People see God every day, they just don't recognize Him." I'm convinced of this because Jesus teaches His followers that when they love Him, it produces a life that goes after the things that are close to His heart and that He will manifest Himself to them (see John 14:21). At least that is my understanding of the verse. It is also my understanding of this relationship.

Far too many "believers" have regulated experiencing God to a religious service/event, a study, or some kind of experience that only happens when something "holy" is happening. What I mean by that is that we have kept God in a box labeled "Christian Experiences" rather than allowing Him to be a part of every day life. It's time for the church as a whole, and we as individual believers, to change this mindset. It's time for us to look for God to show up in any given situation, any given relationship, and at any moment.

Here's where I'm going...I just hope you can follow:
When my heart is set on going after God in my every day life then every day experiences will allow me to watch Him move, hear His voice, or learn something of His Spirit. I can be watching a movie, having a conversation around the coffee maker at work, or simply going through the motions of life in my home and all of a sudden the Lord is there. I hear Him speak. I see Him working in the heart of my wife. I witness Him doing a work in the life of my child. Or something is said that instantly sends a quickening to my spirit that brings joy, peace, love, or a sense of reverence. It is in those moments where it becomes abundantly clear that God doesn't need a set time during the week on a particular holy day to show up. He longs to manifest Himself within the lives of His children.

Then there may be days where my heart isn't as in tune as other days. It doesn't mean that God doesn't show up but it may mean that I miss it. I might miss the smile He sent my way. I might miss the laughter that He wanted me to be a part of. I might miss the opportunity to feel His embrace through someone else. The condition of my heart doesn't keep God from moving but it will keep me from experiencing it.

I want you to think this thought with me today. If Adam & Eve could encounter the manifest presence of God on a daily basis then why not you? Some may argue that sin is the issue but it is not a valid argument with God. When Adam & Eve fell in the Garden we don't see God keeping Himself away. No...we actually find them running from His presence. The issue wasn't sin (in particular) but the condition in their heart that was caused by sin. The GREAT NEWS about God is that He has taken care of the sin issue in His heart. Remember that God was in Christ reconciling the world unto Himself - not counting their trespasses against them. AND since God has taken care of the sin issue then what will keep Him from showing up in our every day life?

Why is this important? It's important because so many people only look for God through religious activity. They never look for God on the street, in the grocery store, or in the mundane. Just like the religious leaders on the day of Jesus' birth did not go out to a stable to find a baby wrapped in swaddling clothes, we never expect God to show up in our secluded dirty places. But this is the Glorious Good News of the Gospel.

I encourage you to find where the Lord is working around you. Listen intently for His voice. Be sensitive to your surroundings. I believe that you will find Him much more at work than you expected. I also believe that you will discover a great secret: that God is at work in your every day life.

Enjoy the journey!!!

Father Heart of God

Being a parent has many different "moments". Personally, I believe parenting can teach us many things about the "Father Heart" of God. I have worked hard to realize that not everything I feel in my relationship with my children can be ascribed to God. However, there are moments...moments where I know that I'm tapping into His heart.

My son recently had to learn a very difficult lesson about personal responsibility. He learned that actions have consequences. In that moment, the light came on and he recognized his choices were not the best choices available. As his Father I had choice as well. I could have chosen to control his life or I could allow him to weight out the decisions. I chose the latter. In the end...I wasn't happy to see him struggle with his decision. Instead...I found myself hurting for him. My heart was heavy - not with disappointment - with pain. I hurt for him. I hated seeing him feel the weight of his decisions. However, in this moment came another moment where I gladly partnered with him in the right decisions. I was able to walk alongside him when he faced the consequences, repented of his former decisions, and resolved to take the appropriate actions.

Now...before you start speculating what my son could have possibly done, or questioning my judgment as a parent, I want to ask you a question: What do you do in the lives of your children to prepare them for life? How do you handle the possibility that they may get it wrong? Some people out of fear make sure they control every environment, every decision, and every consequence. In other words, we don't give them the option. Instead of creating a safe place for them to make mistakes...we make sure they never make them. As a parent who is following the Lord, it was my decision to give my kids grace - to give them the opportunity to succeed or the opportunity to fail. If they get it wrong I am able to come alongside them and show them a better path. For my son (in this particular instance) it means taking greater responsibility. I didn't take the responsibility away because he didn't handle it properly. NO...he felt the weight of his poor choices and he learned a lesson that he will never forget.

What does this have to do with the Father heart of God? God told Israel that He had set before them life and death/blessing and cursing. He encouraged them to choose life. What we know of the history of Israel is that they did not always partner with life. They made a lot of poor choices. However, God never took His love off of His people. He made sure that they would continue to have the opportunity to partner with His life giving Spirit. In the end, He sent His Son into the world to carry the weight and punishment of sin for them. They would be forgiven because of the sacrifice of His Son. Not only them but the entire world would come under this one act of love. In this way, God doesn't need to punish sin anymore because sin carries its own punishment.

As I was thinking about this, I was reminded of a conversation from "The Shack": "I don't need to punish people for sin. Sin is its own punishment, devouring you from the inside. It's not my purpose to punish it; it's my joy to cure it." {p.120} God in His infinite grace and mercy has allowed us to live in such a relationship with Him that we are F-R-E-E. We are free to get it right. We are free to get it wrong. We are free to run away. We are free to return. God does not take His love off of us because we fail. In fact, I believe in those moments, God's heart hurts for us when we hurt. He has experienced the weight of our poor choices and he hates seeing that weight come upon us. And when we return to Him, He doesn't gloat, He joyfully walks beside us so that we can partner together in things that bring life.

The greatest example of this is found in Luke 15:11-32 - the story typically termed the "Prodigal Son." In this story we find a Father who was willing to allow his children to make choices. Even though these choices had serious consequences, he never took his love off of them. He rejoiced to see the "lost" son return home. He made sure that his son was well aware of his love. When he had to deal with the envy and jealousy of the son who stayed home it became a moment to remind him of his love as well.

My prayer for you today is that you come into an experience of the Father heart of God. I pray that you will find His love, His joy, His contentment, and His peace in your life. And in the process, remember that His love is greater than any love you have experienced.

Happy New Year!!!

May your year be filled with love, peace, and the goodness of God. Looking forward to catching up with you all in the next few days.